On Even Ground
by YamiTami
Summary: The only way for Tavros to avoid being culled is for a highblood to claim him as their slave. His matesprit is the obvious choice, and Gamzee is deeply disturbed by the power imbalance. / Dark Season AU, Gamzee/Tavros, swearing, smut, angst
1. Chapter 1

The official clearly thought that Tavros was beneath any notice or mention. He wasn't really surprised when she was unable to suppress a shudder and sneer when she leaned down to snap the collar around his neck. Somehow she got it under control when she straitened and Gamzee could see her face again. Her obvious desire to please the highblood was extreme to the point where even Equius might think she was going overboard. While the thought that someone was even _more_ of a purplenoser than Equius was disturbing on several levels, Tavros was grateful for it. At least she wouldn't dare ask an exalted indigoblood why he would take a lowly brownblood as a slave.

Tavros wished desperately that he could give his matesprit at least a reassuring glance, but it was impossible. Even if Gamzee was in Tavros's line of sight instead of being seated behind him, there was no way they could risk anyone seeing a shared tender look. The only reason why Gamzee was able to keep his composure at all was the flask of sopor slime he had downed before the ceremony started. Tavros had frowned at that; when the two of them got serious Gamzee started weaning himself off the slime, saying that he couldn't feel Tavros's skin against him as well when he was on the pies. He was still Gamzee, still believed that blood color meant nothing between bros, was still chill and still liked his Faygo. He was just significantly more aware of the world around him. Less numb in just about every field... including touch. Gamzee started 'waking up' not long after their relationship had gotten very physical. While this meant irritations like wearing sunglasses even in dim lighting because his eyes were so sensitive, it also meant he was so very sensitive in other areas. Areas which Tavros was all too happy to explore. Thoroughly.

Even though his very life depended upon this ceremony going off without a hitch Tavros still couldn't keep the ghost of a smile off his lips and the brown blush from his cheeks. Luckily his subservient posture—sitting on his legs, hands on the floor in front of him, slouched down in a bow—hid his face from view. He wasn't anywhere near as frightened as he thought he would be, in fact, he was very calm. He wasn't sure if he had just expended all his nervous energy in the various panic attacks he'd been suffering the last lunar cycle or if he'd just lost it. Even with the sneering official reading the list of freedoms he was about to lose and a culling fork leaning against the far wall he couldn't make himself feel worried. He couldn't make himself feel anything except resignation. It was almost as though he was the one numbed by a sopor pie.

His mental numbness helped him when the knives came out. He didn't mind at all when the sharp points cut into the back of his neck—being culled would hurt a lot more. But if he wasn't so out of it then he might have jumped at the pain and ruined the design and given them an excuse to bring the fork over. This was more than just a simple legal ceremony to take a new slave; it had quickly spiraled out of control into a giant political mess. Gamzee's habit of befriending peasantbloods hadn't escaped the notice of the others in his class. While he was widely considered an embarrassment there were some who saw him as a genuine threat to the status quo. This was made worse by the fact that he was such good friends with Feferi, whose plans for the crown had been discovered by the Empress's spies. With that information in hand Her Imperious Condescension started sending regular assassination teams to Feferi's hive ever since. None were successful, particularly since Eridan decided to abandon his ambitions to kill the land dwellers in favor of defending Feferi. Between Eridan and her lusus Feferi was well protected, and thanks to steady supply of assassins Gl'bgolyb was well fed.

Sadly the Empress hadn't tried to kill Feferi herself; if she had then they would already have a new ruler and Tavros wouldn't be bowed over while someone cut Gamzee's sign into his neck.

The audience was supposed to be there to show their distain for the new slave sitting naked in the center of the room, but in this case all eyes were fastened on the master to be. Even though he couldn't see any of it Tavros could feel their burning stares daring Gamzee to speak up when the markmaker was a little rougher than was necessary. Without the slime making his tongue heavy Gamzee might have done just that on instinct; ever since Gamzee started taking it easy on the pies he was able to acknowledge the hatred for high society he had always carried. Without the sopor clouding his emotions he started speaking out against those who denounced the lower bloods, particularly his friends. He would be another highblood standing with the heir apparent instead of against her.

Gamzee never went so far as to actively speak out against the treatment of the lower bloods; even when in a sopor haze he knew that doing so would only put his friends at risk. But the glares and cutting comments he made did not go unnoticed. In fact he was noticed enough to warrant a squad being sent to his hive in the middle of the day. Eridan, ever vigilant, was alerted by his sensor net to the movement in shallow water and went to investigate. He got there in time to hear the story from the one attacker who was still alive. Unfortunately for the assassins, Gamzee was in a cranky stage of stepping back his sopor intake. When he woke up to strangers in his room he had a psychotic episode. Cackling he advanced on them, saying that if they wanted a highblood then they would get a motherfucking highblood. He then proceeded to paint his walls with their blood.

Eridan ended up slipping into the role of Gamzee's moirail after that, and between his and Tavros's calming influence Gamzee hadn't lapsed back into that persona since.

After that, Gamzee and the rest of their circle realized that if they were to make this change take place the real trick was surviving long enough to see Feferi crowned. So Gamzee bit his tongue and did everything he could to make it look like the others were just his amusing playthings, pretending that the apparent affection he showed them before was just the slime talking. Gamzee hated having to pretend that the others were beneath him. He really hated the fact that he and Tavros had to hide their matespritship so thoroughly that they didn't even tell their friends. They couldn't take the risk of society finding out about their relationship; if that happened then it would put them all at greater risk.

As the indigo dye made of Gamzee's own blood was ground into the open wound Tavros gritted his teeth both in pain—it wouldn't surprise him to learn that they mixed salt into the pigment—and also to suppress a very out of character grin which was probably proof positive that he had lost it. But he couldn't help it. All these highbloods thought that this was a battle won against Feferi's rhetoric. It was almost too perfect; the indigoblood who used to embrace the peasants taking one of the gutterbloods as his bonded slave. And so they gathered in the ceremonial room so that they could show their smug contempt for Tavros who sat prostrate and naked in the center of the room. They not so quietly mocked the worthless cripple as the mark was painfully carved into the back of his neck. They cheered in whispers when Gamzee remained impassive and uncaring.

They could have their hollow victory. Gamzee taking Tavros as his slave was a solid win for the silent resistance. First and foremost it would save Tavros from being culled because of his disability; while he had dodged it for over two sweeps it was only because Sollux had hacked him off the list. But just after the last culling rounds Tavros turned 8 and so his records were transferred to the young adult system which was much harder to hack into. Sollux could still do it, of course, but they couldn't risk him being caught. This solution was much neater.

Secondly, if Gamzee took a slave then he would be in direct defiance of Feferi's plans. This would make it look like he was embracing his heritage as indigoblood and thus protect him from another attempt on his life. Gamzee's documented distain for the peasantbloods would also protect the others since it would make it look like he didn't care if they lived or died, so it would be pointless for the enemy to hurt them to get to Gamzee.

Lastly, and most importantly in Tavros's eyes, a slave lived in their master's hive. And that meant no more harrowing trips just to spend half a day with Gamzee. That meant he could touch his matesprit whenever he wanted. It meant they could be together in a way Tavros had barely dreamed of. Maybe that's why he was so calm. He knew that what he was gaining was more than worth the pain of the brand on the back of his neck.

Maybe he was just so scared that he couldn't feel it anymore.

The bandaged packed with more pigment was placed over the wound. Once he healed the scar would be in the design and color of Gamzee's sign—proof of who owned him. With the mark cut into Tavros's flesh and all the paperwork signed, it was finally over. Gamzee owned Tavros, the sign on the back of the brownblood's neck a symbol of humiliation and ownership. Or so the gathered highbloods thought. To Tavros it was a medallion of protection. Now that he was officially Gamzee's property no one would dare touch him. The indigo-dyed scar would promise a swift and harsh punishment to anyone foolish enough to raise a hand to Tavros. As long as he steered clear of irritable sea dwellers he would be fine.

All the swirling thoughts were starting to make Tavros giddy and he bit down on his lip. Defiantly not calm. Definitely needed to get the rising hysterics under control. Even though he belonged to Gamzee now he wouldn't put it past these people to cull him and say the slavery wasn't official until they left the room.

Tavros focused on his breathing as he waited for the markmaker's assistant to hand him his pants. He would have liked the shirt too but it had been thrown into the brazier as part of the ceremony; it symbolized how he had been stripped of his sign along with his freedoms. The only mark he could wear from then on was Gamzee's carved into his back; his shirts would have to be plain black from then on. The only part of Tavros's sign he could keep was the color so that everyone would still know he was a brownblood. His slave collar, a simple silver ring that rested comfortably just above his collarbone, was inlaid with a band of brown stone the same color as his blood.

So he would have to go without a shirt until they got back to the hive, but he would be dressed otherwise. Or so he thought. The minutes stretched on and the bundle of black fabric never came into view. With rising dread Tavros chanced a look at the small table where he had laid his clothes at the beginning of the ceremony. He had bundled up his underwear, socks, and shoes in his pants and had laid his neatly folded shirt on top for easy access.

The table was empty.

He bit down even harder on his lip and tasted blood. They couldn't do this! Except that they could. If questioned they'd probably say that he didn't separate his shirt from the rest of his clothes and therefore had no choice but to chuck the lot into the fire. Even if there was some way to prove that they did it on purpose, and if there was any chance the gathered highbloods would accept that proof, his clothes were gone. Gamzee couldn't afford to raise a fuss about this slight and Tavros certainly couldn't get away with it. There was nothing else to do.

Tavros took a long hard look at that culling fork and forced himself to keep it together before slowly turning towards the arc of the audience's seats. He kept his eyes down on the floor—if he looked any of these trolls in the eye they wouldn't hesitate in making him pay—and slowly looked around the room until he found his four wheel device. It was in the center of the room pushed up against the low wall dividing the ceremonial area from the gallery, right in front of Gamzee's seat. After what happened to his clothed Tavros didn't entertain any delusions about his four wheel device being brought to him.

Tavros closed his eyes and tried not to hear as the first in the audience chuckled with the realization of what had happened. Pretending his ears were as useless as his legs he lay down on his belly and started pulling himself across the floor to his four wheel device. He was halfway there when they started openly jeering at him and making all manner of lewd comments; after all, what use was a paralyzed slave if his duty wasn't to be on his back?

Tavros hated them. He hated all of them. A few sweeps ago he never would have thought he would be capable of such roiling platonic hatred but it was taking everything he had to bite back what he wanted to scream at the crowd. Maybe he was able to work up a proper blinding rage because the worst part wasn't what they were doing to him; it was what this demented show was doing to Gamzee. Tavros was doing his best to keep his eyes off the crowd but when reached up to grab his four wheeled device he caught a glimpse of his matesprit's face. To anyone else there Gamzee appeared the very picture of an impassive highblood completely unconcerned with his new slave's abject humiliation, but Tavros knew better. Just under the numb, slime fueled mask of disinterest was a tempest. Rage, fear, horror, all of it swam in Gamzee's glazed eyes. And the crowd just would not _stop_.

The way he had to wriggle to get into the chair of his device just made them louder. He tried so hard to not let it get to him, not to hear what they were saying about his disgusting blood, his legs shriveled in atrophy, how Gamzee surely would make his new toy stay face down so the exalted highblood wouldn't have to see his slave's ugly face. The tears welled up with the insecurity and Tavros fought to hold them back. He couldn't let Gamzee see how much this was getting to him. He couldn't give those malicious bastards the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

As soon as Tavros was settled Gamzee stood up. He offered up a vague goodbye to the trolls seated near him and then started towards the door without a backwards glance at Tavros, who followed as quickly as he could. Tavros knew why his matesprit wasn't even acknowledging him; if Gamzee actually saw the tears then he would probably lose it. Despite the whole humiliating situation Tavros felt near elated when the entranceway doors were opened. They had actually done it. They had succeeded in the ruse. They still had to wait for three hours for the next scheduled shuttle to Gamzee's part of the coast, and Tavros was sure it would be torture to have all those eyes trained on his naked form, but it didn't matter. He was Gamzee's and they couldn't do anything to him.

He was safe.


	2. Chapter 2

All of Tavros's hopeful feelings crashed into a stone wall when he saw Canren Shayur standing outside the building. Canren was an indigoblood just a shade more violet than Gamzee. He had long glossy hair which he wore loosely tied back with a ribbon the color of his blood, symmetrical horns that curved up and inwards in a broken teardrop shape, and a self-superior highblood attitude. He was the very picture of what Feferi was trying to end, and as if that wasn't enough, Canren had spent the last half sweep making red advances on Gamzee.

Gamzee couldn't stand Canren, but he couldn't afford to anger his fellow indigoblood. Canren was too well connected, and as long as his unwanted attentions were turned on Gamzee it offered an extra layer of protection. So, as much as Gamzee hated being anywhere near Canren he had to be civil. Tavros thought of the three hour wait for the shuttle and how it didn't seem too bad before but if Canren decided to sit and chat with Gamzee the whole time? There is no way that Gamzee or Tavros could survive that.

Tavros wheeled himself over by the wall of the building and focused on keeping his hands on the wheels. As desperately as he wanted to cover himself up he didn't want to give the milling highbloods the satisfaction of seeing how uncomfortable he was. His embarrassment might have won out over that sentiment but he sure as hell wasn't going to flinch in front of Canren, not when the creep was touching Gamzee's arm and trying to whisper something in his ear. _STOP TOUCHING HIM_, Tavros screamed in his mind. The anger was a good thing. It warred with his panic and somehow the combination kept him steady and semi-calm. Though if Canren didn't stop with the touching then anger was sure to win out even though it was a death sentence. Canren couldn't legally do anything to Tavros without Gamzee's permission but the creep had ways of making people disappear.

"... pity your personal shuttle isn't finished," the creep was saying. "A man of your standing shouldn't have to wait among the peasants for transport."

Gamzee gave a half shrug and tried not to look like he would rather be anywhere but there. "My hive is way out there so shuttle choices are kind of limited. Nothing helping it."

"Ah, but that is where you are mistaken, my dear Gamzee," Canren said with all the suave he possessed. "My personal shuttle waits at the private docks. It would be my pleasure to offer you a ride."

Gamzee looked at Tavros through his peripheral vision and Tavros stared resolutely at Gamzee's stomach. To Canren it would look like Gamzee was staring off in consideration of the request and that Tavros was dutifully keeping his eyes down. He didn't see the unspoken messages flying between them, a conversation in a language that they hardly understood but knew nonetheless. The first time they met face to face they felt this connection, and even though their moments together had been few and far between their bond had deepened to a point where words or even direct eye contact weren't necessary.

They both knew that if they accepted the offer Canren would be exponentially worse. Even though it would be the most functional of shuttle trips Canren would see it as a sign that Gamzee was warming up to his advances. The way he stressed the word 'pleasure' was proof enough of that. Tavros could see his resounding _NO_ mirrored in the set of his matesprit's jaw. Tavros also read the forced stiffness in Gamzee's frame and the way his hands were ever so slightly trembling. He knew that Gamzee was reading his own hunched posture and how nearly all of his ashen skin was tinged brown from shame. They both calculated the odds of them holding it together for another three hours and they both came to the same unpleasant decision.

"... Okay," Gamzee said in a facsimile of gratitude. Canren's smile could have lit up a room if it wasn't so slimy. He guided Gamzee in the correct direction by way of a hand at the small of his back, which Tavros got to stare at for the mercifully short walk to the private docks. At least his seething hatred almost kept him distracted from the stares and whispers. Almost. It was a pitiful thing to feel such gratitude towards Canren Shayur of all men, but when the door on his private shuttle closed out the insults Tavros couldn't help it.

Once inside Tavros didn't know what to do. It was a small shuttle built for short, swift journeys and so the only two rooms were the main cabin and the cockpit. Since there was no slave room or even a kitchen Tavros would have to ride in the main cabin by necessity. Not that he would have it any other way—he wasn't leaving Gamzee alone with Canren—but at least this way they didn't have to come up with an excuse for him to stay. However with that problem solved another arose, one that Tavros needed to solve before takeoff. It was a fancy ship and it no doubt had good acceleration dampeners, however, Tavros was in a chair that not only wasn't bolted down but it also had wheels. Takeoff would have him sliding across the floor.

Tavros looked around and quickly found a suitable railing to lash his four wheel device to and a length of rope suitable for the job. Unfortunately the rope was on a shelf secured with a webbed cage to keep the contents from sliding off. It was still within his reach if he really stretched but it was underneath various hooks and clips; Canren's interests included scaling cliffs. Tavros could get the rope himself but he'd probably pull the rest of the equipment down on his head and then Canren would actually have a good reason to dislike him. Plus it was in no way acceptable for a slave to go pawing through a freeman's things without express permission to do so. It was also unacceptable for a slave to speak without being spoken to, but Tavros was pretty sure that the trouble he'd be in for asking wouldn't be as bad as the trouble he'd be in when his sliding four wheel device broke something.

Luckily, Gamzee followed Tavros's line of sight and figured out the problem.

"Hey, Canren?"

The owner of the ship leaned out from the doorway to the cockpit where he had been talking to his pilot. "Yes? Is there anything you need?"

"Um," Gamzee looked awkward and tried to find the right way to phrase it. Saying that Tavros needed a rope to tie himself up would send the wrong kind of message in a big way. "Well it's not for me exactly..."

Canren narrowed his eyes and regarded the new slave. Tavros gulped and shrunk back under the icy gaze. He wasn't sure exactly what Canren would consider proper in this situation so he settled for keeping his mouth shut.

After a few moments Canren's cool look grew irritated. "Well? Your tongue isn't as useless as your legs, is it?"

Tavros grimaced; keeping his mouth shut wasn't the right choice apparently. He was unable to keep his voice completely steady but he did the best he could to explain. "Uh, w-well, it's just that my four wheel device will, uh, slide when we take off. And, uh, it m-might, uh, crash into something and b-break it. And I..." The next part was so hard to say but Tavros forced it out. "I, uh, d-don't want to break something that belongs to my m-master's friend."

Gamzee flinched when Tavros called him master, but Canren didn't seem to notice.

"If I, uh," Tavros soldiered on, "could use s-something to tie m-my four wheel device to the, uh, r-railing then, uh..."

Canren held up his hand in a gesture of silence and Tavros felt fear grip him. However, Canren's scowl had disappeared. He must have thought the request reasonable for he went to the shelf himself and retrieved a few lengths of black cord. He handed those to Gamzee and then looked back at Tavros in a way that was almost complimentary.

"I must say, Gamzee, I was a bit worried about you when you announced you were acquiring this particular piece of property..."

Gamzee quickly put his hands behind his back and gripped the cords so hard Tavros was surprised they didn't break in half.

"... but now I can see that he is aware and accepting of his place. Considerate, even, to think of what damage his defect could cause to my shuttle."

"Yeah, he is very considerate," Gamzee replied, grabbing onto the only part that he agreed with.

"And I suppose he has his... uses, does he?"

Gamzee's grip on the cords got even tighter but he managed to keep his voice flat. "He can commune with animals and control their actions. A big chunk of my hive was taken out by one of the big wild ones, and he'll be able to keep them away."

What Gamzee said wasn't untrue, though the only reason that the beast had ventured near his hive was because Eridan accidentally cut off access to its feeding grounds when he was setting up assassin traps. With the path to the kelp beds reopened it wouldn't be knocking on Gamzee's door again. Or rather, knocking an entire wing off Gamzee's hive. Of course they weren't going to spread news of the beast's relocation anytime soon, not when it supplied a good reason for Gamzee to pick Tavros as his first slave.

Canren accepted the beast reason, though the smirk on his face made it clear that he still thought that some of Tavros's use would be on a concupiscent couch. He then went back into the cockpit. Tavros wheeled himself over to the railing and Gamzee followed. He started to help Tavros lash down his four wheel device but caught himself and simply handed the cords over. When he leaned down to hand them over he let the raw panic show on his face.

"Babe," Gamzee hissed, "that motherfucking creep was talking about places not my hive to the pilot."

Tavros's eyes went wide and he felt his own terror welling up. On any given day they could suffer through being around someone like Canren; it would be unpleasant but they could do it. But not on that day. Not after they had both been flayed down to the nerves during the mockery of a ceremony. As he quickly made the familiar knots Tavros forced himself to breathe slowly and evenly. He wildly searched his mind for something, anything, to use as an excuse for Canren to take them straight home. He almost melted in relief when he thought of something.

"Carpenter drones," he whispered just before Canren came back into the main cabin and announced that they were ready to take off. Gamzee schooled his expression back to neutral and took his seat. Soon they were gliding through the air on the way to the coast. Canren did a quick appraisal of Tavros's knots and then ignored him for the rest of the trip; while being treated as though he was invisible was another heavy blow to his self esteem Tavros decided it was still a lot better than degrading comments so he did his best to stay still and silent. Gamzee's trial was to act the part of an unconcerned master and keep his eyes off his matesprit, all while trying to hold a conversation with Canren.

After everything that happened that day they were due some good fortune, and they found it in Canren's choice of idle chatter. Even though starships weren't a concern of Gamzee's he had no problem listening to news of recent breakthroughs in drive technology. Talk of a mutual acquaintance's orchards and how well they were doing with the recent rains was actually pleasant. When the discussion turned to the current fads in cuisine Gamzee was able to actually enjoy it.

After that topic faded down Canren excused himself to go rummage in the liquid refreshment repository, or 'bar' as he called it. With their host's back turned Gamzee seemed to shake himself out of something and then looked at Tavros with guilty eyes. Tavros shook his head slightly and smiled before going back to staring at his knees. He knew that the only reason Gamzee was able to sit and talk to people like Canren without shaking in rage is because he would pretend that they were his friends in some weird roleplaying session. To some it might seem callous to be laughing with someone while your matesprit sat naked in the corner, but Tavros knew it was the only way Gamzee would get through this day. More than that, it was the only way Tavros was going to make it to his new home without breaking down; his own reserves of control had long since been depleted and Gamzee was the only thing keeping him going.


	3. Chapter 3

Canren returned and Gamzee did his best to recover his mask of interest. After handing Gamzee his glass and settling back in his chair Canren finally got to the point.

"Gamzee, have you ever had the pleasure of a walk along the painted cliffs near your hive?"

It was a good thing Canren was ignoring Tavros because if he wasn't he might have noticed the new flavor of startled embarrassed on the brownblood's face. Yes, Gamzee had been to the painted cliffs. The two of them had taken the winding ramped path and had a picnic in the wooded area at the very top. At the time Gamzee was coming down from the hypersensitivity caused by the reduced number of pies in his diet, to a point where dim light didn't hurt his eyes but he was still exceptionally responsive to his matesprit's touch. Tavros milked it for all it was worth, pulling Gamzee into his lap and feeding him by hand, sometimes putting the morsel in his own mouth so that Gamzee had to kiss him to get it... Tavros only meant to tease a little but after seeing how good he was making Gamzee feel he couldn't stand it. So he gathered the animals in the trees into a perimeter which would alert him if anyone came their way and then he made love to Gamzee _out in public_. It was easily the boldest thing he had ever done.

From the way Gamzee's shoulders tensed and he buried his face in his glass he was definitely remembering how much of a pleasure that walk had been. That thought was far too funny and Tavros had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the laugh from escaping. That was not good. He always got really giddy right before he had a knock down drag out panic attack. He focused on his hands and imagined that his pulse wasn't trying to pound its way out of his head.

Gamzee collected himself with a couple of sips on his drink and then very carefully responded, "Yeah, I've been up there before."

"Ah," Canren said with dramatic disappointment, "I was hoping I'd be your first."

Tavros had to dig his fingernails into his arm and bite his tongue hard enough to make it bleed to hold in the hysterical giggle.

"Regardless," Canren continued, oblivious to how Tavros was losing grip on his control, "it is a beautiful place and I would thoroughly enjoy a stroll along the cliffs with you."

Gamzee did his best to look nonchalantly surprised and disappointed. "Oh man, a walk up there would have been nice." The unspoken '_with anyone but you' _was obvious to Tavros and he felt his expanding and contracting blood bladder clench, but Canren didn't seem to pick up on it. Tavros fought to control his breathing and reminded himself that he could read Gamzee better than anyone and that Canren wasn't going to catch any of the little things that screamed Gamzee's discomfort.

Remembering that he and Gamzee had that strong connection, that both of them were overcome with flushed feelings the first time they met in person, that all doubts were chased away with their first chaste kiss and they both knew that they had found their fated matesprit... Tavros felt the panic fade. It was still there to be sure—nothing short of a long breakdown was going to remove all the stress—but he regained control enough to make it out of the bastard's shuttle without cracking. But everything was going to be okay because he loved Gamzee and Gamzee loved him and they were going home. _Their_ home, the hive they would share.

While Tavros got himself calmed down the conversation continued. Canren raised an eyebrow at Gamzee's response and asked, "What do you mean, 'would have been'? I assumed that you would be free as your plans included a three hour wait at the shuttle station."

There was a dangerous edge to Canren's voice. Gamzee swallowed hard and spoke very carefully.

"I was actually going to be in the casual comm center across the street. Still have a gaping hole in my hive, you know, and the carpenter drones are going to be setting up right now. I was set to give them the blueprints over vid-Trollian, and you know how there's always a million things you don't think about that the drones want to know so I'd probably still be working out details when the shuttle came." Gamzee faked a remorseful frown. "I didn't realize you had plans in mind; I just through you were checking on that island fishery you've got out that way. I'm really putting you out of your way aren't I?"

The irritation in Canren's eyes faded, still there but no longer sharp enough to split a photon. "No, no, not at all."

"Man, I'm feeling all sorry and sh—" Gamzee barely caught the unseemly swear, "stuff."

Canren put what was probably supposed to be a comforting hand on Gamzee's thigh; Tavros saw Gamzee suppress a physical gag at the contact.

"I am the remorseful one," Canren said. "I was thoughtless in my suggestion. I should have realized that a man of such high standing would have plans. Though I wonder if you might find an opening in your busy schedule for—"

Gamzee was not happy about the hand still on his leg and it bled into his voice enough that not only Tavros heard it, "Yeah, I can't be up and dropping everything any time some mo—guy expects me to."

Canren threw his hands up in a mock gesture of surrender and both his guests breathed a sigh of relief. "You wound me, my dear Gamzee. Forgive my rash forwardness."

Gamzee made a vague agreement—they still needed to get home and it was Canren's shuttle—and the conversation turned back to the nothings of weather. It was noticeably more strained, however, and Gamzee didn't lose himself in the act again. Tavros was surprised at how well Canren seemed to be taking the sudden icy turn, but then again Canren had shown a marked interest in Gamzee acting his class. Taking offense and glaring with barely concealed threat were mainstays of an indigoblood and Canren was one of the many who wanted to see Gamzee shape up and join the backstabbing flock.

Tavros was just glad that Canren didn't flirt with Gamzee for the rest of the trip. He wasn't sure how much more of that he could watch without cracking. Gamzee always felt slimy after being around good and proper highbloods for a while, sometimes to the point of needing to physically take a shower. Tavros was half-hysterically worried that it would take a wire brush for Gamzee to feel clean after Canren touched his thigh. Tavros liked Gamzee's thighs and he didn't want the skin all scratched up.

Tavros sunk further into the false calm covering his hysteria as they disembarked. Gamzee offered Canren a curt farewell and immediately turned to the swarm of carpenter drones gathered outside his hive. Canren just smiled as through Gamzee's ire was the most endearing thing he ever saw and then decided they needed to chat some more. Gamzee made a point of first telling Tavros to go into the hive and put something on, then greeting the lead carpenter drone who was having a fit about the change in schedule, and finally turning to Canren and semi-politely asking if he didn't have anything better to do.

Tavros didn't hear Canren's answer; he had gotten inside as fast as he could maneuver his four wheel device around the piles of materials the drones had stacked haphazardly all over Gamzee's front lawn. It was going to be a major construction project; aside from fixing the damage caused by the hungry creature the drones were going to be renovating most of the hive. Gamzee's reason for the complete makeover was that he had outgrown the design he created at his emergence and needed something a little more adult, which was true. Ever since coming out of the sopor haze he was far less prone to clutter, so there was a need for storage and display solutions for what used to sit piled high in empty Faygo crates. There was a _lot_ of clutter to go through.

This is what society in general knew about the renovation. It was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. Another reason for the renovation is the need for a permanent four wheel device accessible solution; in previous visits Tavros was limited to the first floor aside from one occasion where Gamzee picked him up out of his chair and carried him upstairs. Usually they'd just stretch out on the floor of the unused dining room when they wanted to get intimate, but the last time Tavros was there Gamzee carried him upstairs to a makeshift concupiscent couch. It was a very crude imitation made of all of Gamzee's clothes and a few dust cloths tossed in a big pile in the floor of his bedroom. As Gamzee set Tavros down he said that it wasn't much but soon he'd have some proper furniture for when they got their hot flush on.

It seemed that Gamzee had found a temporary solution; when Tavros got to the living room he was met with a series of crates and boards nailed into the floor and walls to create a rampway up to the second floor. There was a carpenter drone standing next to it looking very distressed; they tended to do that when something wasn't on the floor plans. It was a little steep but Tavros was able to make it up to Gamzee's bedroom. He quickly wheeled himself to the wardrobe storage device, dug out a pair of Gamzee's boxers (bright green with pies drawn on with marker), and pulled them on as fast as he could. Once he had something on it really hit him that he had been naked. He expected and accepted it for the ceremony; that he was prepared to deal with. But being forced to crawl across the ground to his four wheel device while all the highbloods around him jeered, being forced to go outside in the street without anything covering him up, and having to bite his tongue while that creep felt up his matesprit.

He hugged himself and tried not to cry, but it was a losing battle. The panic was rising to the surface and he didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. It was all so unfair. A highblood with a psychic means to compensate for a crippling injury would likely be spared from culling, as long as they worked hard to prove that they were still useful. Tavros had done everything, he honed his ability to commune to unheard of levels, he worked out his arms and torso every single day, he even abandoned the lance as his primary weapon and with a little help from a friend of Nepeta's he grew to be deadly accurate with a pistol. But none of it mattered because of the color of his blood. His name was on the list to be culled every time and the only reason he survived this far is because Sollux was such an incredible hacker.

The Empress's death couldn't come soon enough.

This sentiment was only driven home when Gamzee ran into the room. Tavros looked up helplessly, brown tinged tears rolling down his cheeks. Gamzee's face flickered between concern, guilt, and anger all in the span of a couple seconds spent standing wide eyed in the doorway. Then he all but dove at his matesprit. He ended up pulling Tavros out of his four wheel device and they curled up together on the floor. His matesprit held him tight, stroked his hair, and through the whole of Tavros's breakdown Gamzee trembled with rage. Tavros clung to his lover and sobbed, the humiliation and shame and all those people saying how he was useless and ugly finally catching up with him. He felt so cold, so alone, as if every vicious word and cruel look were needle thin daggers of ice that pierced him down to the bone. He felt as if his very soul was freezing. He forced himself to listen to all the sweet nothings Gamzee was whispering in his ear, he reminded himself that it was all over and everything was going to be okay, he focused on Gamzee's hands pressed against his bare skin...

Tavros was so aware of Gamzee's heat. The arms around his waist and shoulders felt like they were burning. When Gamzee pressed soft, sweet kisses to Tavros's damp cheeks each light touch was a hot iron searing into his skin. He felt his blood rush to the surface, tinting his gray skin brown from his face all the way down his shoulders and stomach. His pulse pounded like a stampede running through his head and the only thought he could hear through the noise was _what if he doesn't want me anymore_.

Tavros crushed his lips against Gamzee's in a move full of desperation. At first Gamzee was still as stone and Tavros felt the ice fill his veins. There was so much fear it choked him and he couldn't breathe until finally, _finally_ Gamzee responded. He returned the kiss hesitantly and it warmed Tavros's lips but he needed more. He needed so much more.

Gamzee broke the kiss and started to say something but Tavros had already pressed his lips to his matesprit's ear and was begging him in a low keening whisper, "Touch me. Touch me everywhere. Please just kiss me and don't ever stop. I want you, I _need_ you and I—"

Those hands that burned hotter than the Alternian sun gripped Tavros's face and he was made to look in Gamzee's wide eyes.

"Tav, babe, hold on a motherfucking second and think about this."

Tavros was beyond reason. He kept kissing, biting, licking every piece of skin he could reach to while he got his hands under Gamzee's shirt. "Don't make me wait anymore," Tavros breathed against his lover's neck. Tavros could feel the jump and twitch; Gamzee liked the feeling of words whispered hotly into his pulse. No one knew what turned Gamzee on better than Tavros. Maybe that would be enough to keep him?

Gamzee was biting his lip and getting that heavy lidded look; Tavros was having a definite effect on him. But Gamzee was still holding back, still trying to hold onto the anger he felt, the ghost of a reason why they shouldn't be doing this right then...

"I need you," Tavros breathed, "_please_."


	4. Chapter 4

Gamzee's reservations evaporated as a sultry heat replaced the fire of his rage. Tavros found himself crushed against his lover's body and he would have moaned if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied. The rough kisses opened the self-inflicted bite marks on Tavros's lip and tongue and the metallic taste made Gamzee pause, but then Tavros was rubbing that particular spot on his hip and nipping at his earlobe just the way he liked it. With no more warning than a primal growl Tavros found himself flat on his back, barely having time to register the change in orientation before Gamzee was nudging his legs apart and lying between them. Tavros propped himself up on his elbows and watched slack jawed as his lover mouthed him. The fact that Gamzee's tongue was on his own bright green underwear instead of Tavros's dark boxer briefs just made it that much hotter.

"Yeah, babe, you like that?" Gamzee asked as he tugged the borrowed boxers down and freed Tavros's aching bulge. He took the tip in his mouth and mumbled around it, "Does that make you feel good?"

"Guh, hu, Gamz_aah!_" Tavros moaned in answer.

"You are so—" licksuckkiss, "—motherfucking sexy."

Tavros was drowning in his insecurities and he clung to Gamzee's words as he would a raft. "H-h-how am I, uh, ohhhh, s-sexy?"

Gamzee chuckled like Tavros was crazy for even asking. He pressed a wet kiss to his lover's bulge before getting up and breaking the sound barrier getting to his desk and back. He dropped the bottle on the floor next to them and quickly pulled the boxers completely off Tavros's legs. It was only after he had settled back down on his stomach and was rubbing slick fingers against Tavros's entrance that Gamzee answered the question.

"You're sexy no matter what you do, but fuck Tav when you say my name it keeps me believing in miracles."

Two fingers pressed inside and curled just so and Tavros bucked against the heat and sting and the way his matesprit grinned when he cried out, "_Gamzee!_"

"Yeah, fuck yes, like that. That gets me so motherfucking hot when you scream my name."

"Hah, how c-can I not—mmph—scream your name when you do... ohhh..."

Tavros wanted hard and fast, wanted to feel the heat of Gamzee's wild passion washing over him, but Gamzee slowed his pace to something tortuously slow. Tavros whined and tried to wriggle closer to that teasing mouth and probing fingers, but his lover kept him pinned.

"I was worried," Gamzee said in a near whisper; Tavros had to fight to control his panting breaths just to make out all the words. "Back when we were all new at this, you know, the first time I got my hands on that cute fucking ass of yours."

"We're, uh, talking about sexy."

The grin was back. "Your ass is cute _and_ sexy. So's your big thick motherfucking bone bulmg," he said, the last word getting muffled when Gamzee leaned back down to suck on said bulge. Tavros blushed not only from the pleasure Gamzee was giving him but also the compliment. Tavros was bigger than Gamzee by a tiny bit; still, Gamzee loved telling him how huge he was and watching the deep brown blush spread all the way down his abdomen.

Gamzee pulled back again, lazily stroking Tavros's bulge with one hand and twisting the fingers of the other inside him, so he could take in the sight of his lover squirming under him.

"I was worried," he repeated. "So fucking worried, first time I got in your pants... I didn't know if you could feel what I was doing. Didn't know if I could make you feel _good_ like a motherfucker should be able to make his matesprit feel."

Tavros shook his head. "No, mhm, even if I couldn't feel your fff—AH—fingers in m-me it would still be, uh, good. Because i-it would be with you."

The indigo blush under Gamzee's eyes darkened and he licked his lips. "So... can you feel my fingers all up inside of you?"

When Tavros fell off that cliff during his last FLARP session the impact itself didn't break his spine; if that were the case then the break probably would have been much higher and he might not have been able to feel anything below the waist. Instead when Tavros fell he landed flat on his back and a slab of rock protruding from the sandy beach caught him nearly at the base of his spine. He still had minimal movement and most of the feeling in his hips, fading down to being completely numb at about mid thigh.

Gamzee might have been ignorant of the extent of Tavros's injury that first time they were fumbling around in the dark, but that was almost two sweeps ago and Gamzee had been educated since.

"Uh... y-you know already," Tavros mumbled as he looked away, embarrassed by the question.

Gamzee pulled his hand away from Tavros's bulge and he withdrew his slick fingers. Tavros whimpered at the loss of sensation. He raised himself back up on his elbows so he could glare at his matesprit, though it came off as less of a glare and more of a pout. Gamzee was undeterred. He slid his hands up Tavros's thighs ever so slowly, coming to rest on his hips. Gamzee pressed down just hard enough that it would be difficult for Tavros to flip him and exact revenge for the teasing.

"Come on, babe, I'm asking you if you can feel what I'm doing to you. Tell me how it feels when I'm inside you."

The hunger in Gamzee's tone was making Tavros's breath hitch. He was still embarrassed, still nervous, but there was no way he could say no to that.

"Will you, uh, t-tell me why you th-think I'm sexy?"

Gamzee's eyes smoldered. He moved onto his knees and spread more of the gel over his hard bulge, giving Tavros the most intense look as he slowly stroked himself. Tavros licked his lips at the sight. Then Gamzee was shifting them both around and Tavros was doing his best to arch his back and help lift his legs and then Gamzee was sliding into him.

"That look," Gamzee murmured once he was fully sheathed, "that look you get when I'm in you and you're all about to moan but you're trying not to..." He closed his eyes and gasped. "Fuck, Tav, you have no motherfucking clue what you do to me, do you?"

Tavros worried at his sore lip and reveled in Gamzee's words. As Gamzee started grinding against him tried to swallow his embarrassment. He didn't think he was very good at dirty talk so he tended to leave that to Gamzee. But since his lover was outright asking for it he was willing to try.

"I, uh, y-you inside me f-feels so good..." He somehow managed to blush darker than he already was. "Gyah! I'm so bad at this."

Gamzee chuckled as he settled into a slow and steady grind, the friction making Tavros throw his head back and cry out wordlessly.

"Babe, trust me, no one could be better."

Tavros felt almost drunk after hearing that. From somewhere in the hull of his shattered self esteem he drug up the confidence to keep talking.

"When y-you're, mmm, rubbing up against me—in m-me—all slow like this it's, uh, amazing."

"Tav, oh shit," Gamzee moaned. He started moving in shallow thrusts as he reached down to stroke Tavros's bulge.

"Ohhh... and wh-when you touch me like that I can't even think anymore."

"Yes. Fuck yes. Don't motherfucking stop."

Tavros watched his lover with fascination. His attempts at dirty talk were terrible but it was still having such an effect on Gamzee. He tried to think of something else to say while making a vague mental note to get better at this.

"When you roll your hips—ohgodlikethat—it feels so good."

"Uhng... Tav, babe, tell me what you want."

Tavros started to answer but then Gamzee thrust inside him at a particularly delicious angle. The world went dark around the edges and Tavros shoved off the floor hard enough that Gamzee was almost knocked backwards. Tavros felt himself coming undone and he cried out his lover's name as he toppled over the edge.

"I... hah..." Tavros tried to catch his breath as he floated back down to reality. "I think that, mmh, was what I wanted."

Gamzee was still in Tavros and still hard. He was fighting his own instincts to move to the point of shaking, but despite the effort tied up in staying still he was smiling down at Tavros with an almost zen look.

"Mmmm..." Gazmee hummed as he ground against Tavros just a bit. "Watching you coming all undone, babe, that is motherfucking miracles."

The words fell from Tavros's lips without him really thinking about it, "Feeling you moving inside me when I'm riding the aftershocks is like paradise."

Gamzee paused and on instinct Tavros wondered if he said something wrong. Then Gamzee was thrusting into him hard and moaning, "Fuck, Tav. Motherfucking. Yes."

Tavros, still drifting through the aftermath of his orgasm, watched his lover with a sort of lazy fascination. Gamzee was so intense and somehow it was all because of something Tavros just did. Even though he was awkward and stuttery and not the handsomest on Alternia, Gamzee still found something about him irresistible.

"Wha... mm..." Gamzee's thrusts were getting rough and it felt so good, but Tavros was determined to figure out what he did to make his matesprit moan like that. "What did I say?"

Gamzee laughed through a groan. "God, babe, you really have no fucking clue, do you? You have no motherfucking idea how hot you are. How can that even happen?"

Tavros didn't answer right away; he thought about the question with a fuzzy think pan as he reached down to absently rub at his softening bulge. He saw the way Gamzee leaned back to get a good look at what he was doing.

Sometimes when he was exhausted or angry Tavros would somehow forget to be nervous and just say or do what he was thinking without censoring himself. At that moment he was physically exhausted since he had barely slept in the past few days, emotional exhausted from the spectacle the ceremony turned into, his anger was still lurking under the surface, and to top it all off he was _very_ sexually satisfied.

Tavros gave his bulge one last squeeze and then drug his hand up across his abdomen. When he reached the pool of genetic discharge on his chest he drug two fingers through the fluid, then he brought his hand to his lips and licked at his own release.

Gamzee stilled for several long seconds and stared wide eyed at the gray tongue lapping up the light brown fluid. Then he was leaning over Tavros and fucking him in earnest while words tumbled from his lips.

"Oh god, Tav. When you're nervous and mumbling it's all motherfucking adorable but when you blow right past it and do shit like that—ah _fuck_."

Gamzee's hands were nearly bruising on his matesprit's hips. Tavros sucked on his sticky fingers, swallowing the traces of his genetic fluid and driving Gamzee mad with desire in the process.

"You're so sexy. You're so motherfucking sexy. When you're all in your four wheel device and you look up at me all shy, uhn, it takes all I got to keep from jumping your cute, perfect, sexy ass."

Gamzee's motions were getting erratic and his voice was starting to resemble his Trollian quirk, the syllables butchered and the meter of his words cracked and backwards. Tavros knew his lover was close, so close.

"Babe—motherfucking _yes_—when you stare out at the ocean and the wind is all ruffling that fucking cute mohawk of yours, uhn, and you've got that smile on your face that's all mysterious and, and—"

"I love you, Gamzee."

"Sonova bitch, oh fuck, _Taaaaaav!_"

Gamzee pulled out and grabbed his bulge. After a couple rough jerks pale indigo release was mingling with the cooling brown on Tavros's chest. Gamzee slumped forward, catching his weight with one hand so he didn't fall into Tavros, and tried to steady his breath. Tavros reached up to brush damp bangs out of his lover's eyes. He was still reveling in the way his skin tingled where Gamzee had touched him. Still reeling from the fact that saying 'I love you' is what sent his matesprit over the edge.

"I love you too, Tavros," Gamzee said at last, his face full of tenderness that warmed Tavros to the core. "You're amazing, you're... you are the best motherfucking thing that ever happened to me."

Tavros felt relief wash over him at the reaffirmation of his matesprit's feelings. He felt a little ashamed for doubting it even for a second, regardless of what happened that day. Gamzee loved him and that was a fact.

Gamzee's expression melted into something that was both affectionate and dangerously mischievous. With a low chuckle he reached out with his free hand and drew a finger through their combined genetic material. He sucked the pale substance off with a hum, never taking his eyes off Tavros's, even as he shuddered in the wake of his orgasm. Tavros watched the tremors roll over his lover in waves and thought, _I did that to him_.

"That is motherfucking hot," Gamzee said in a husky voice. "I never guessed you'd be all into that. Fuck, if you want to take me out you know how to motherfucking do it. Just suck on your fingers like that and uhnn..."

Gamzee loved him and that was a fact. But the thing that Tavros struggled with wasn't faith in the depth of Gamzee's emotions, it was the depth of Gamzee's lust. He knew that his matesprit wanted him as a person, and he knew that was the more important part of the relationship, but Tavros always wondered if Gamzee really wanted him physically. It wasn't about the disjunction between a powerful torso and atrophied legs; at least, it hadn't been for almost a sweep. It was about his facial structure and the embarrassingly needy noises he'd make during sex and the way he would trip and fall over his own words sometimes. When Gamzee called him cute he could believe it, but sexy? Hot? That couldn't be him.

Except Gamzee was coming down from being driven mad with desire. When Tavros licked his own release off his fingers the look on Gamzee's face right before he started driving into his lover's body left little room for interpretation. There was no faking that. Tavros didn't have any doubt left.

Gamzee both loved him and wanted him.

It wasn't until Gamzee's expression turned to one of deep concern that Tavros even realized he was crying again. He was just so relieved to finally know and believe and not have any doubt about Gamzee's feelings or lust. Tavros was loved and wanted and the horrible day was over and he was finally safe in his matesprit's arms and hive and...

Tavros lost track of time and then he was sobbing brokenly while Gamzee was holding him tight. Tavros was vaguely aware of how badly Gamzee was panicking, the only thing really getting through was the stream of "I'm sorry" repeated over and over until it blended into a pulse beating in his head. He tried to tell Gamzee it was okay, he tried so hard, but he was just too tired and too hurt to get past the lump in his throat. So he cried and he clung and somewhere in there he fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Tavros woke up in Gamzee's guest recuperacoon to the sound of heavy construction. He pulled himself over the lip—Gamzee had at the walls with a saw so Tavros could lie down properly—and glared at the clock. With a start he realized he had been out for almost a full day; he guessed that all the sleepless nights of the past perigee finally caught up with him. He still felt exhausted but he doubted he could get back to sleep with all the banging around the carpenter drones were doing.

With a heavy sigh he hauled himself out of the recuperacoon. His four wheel device was in easy reach and the seat was wrapped in towels; his matesprit was so thoughtful to spare him from having to mop up all the slime before he got dressed.

Still half asleep Tavros wheeled himself into the hygieneblock . He transferred himself onto the plain metal chair in the standing ablution trap and turned on the water. Gamzee had made a lot of changes to his guest respiteblock just for Tavros, though soon it would be returned to its generic guest purposes and Tavros would have his own room on the third floor. Gamzee was moving his respiteblock from the second to the third, and they would only be separated by the expansive, four wheel device friendly hygieneblock that the carpenter drones would build in what used to be a storage area. Of course, Tavros would have his own, smaller hygieneblock for appearance sake, but in practice they'd share the one. They already picked out all the fixtures including a seated ablution trap big enough to fit both of them comfortably.

Tavros smiled as he absently considered how much fun it would be to test if the trap could really fit two trolls. The model they picked out was pretty deep and Tavros was hoping that there would be enough water lifting up his weight that he would be able to ride Gamzee properly. He always wanted to do that in spite of, or maybe because of, the fact that his disability made it almost impossible. Even if it didn't work out the way Tavros hoped it would still be fun to try, and if it really wasn't working it would be easy enough for Gamzee to lay him down on the thick rug they were going to have in the center of the room and...

He felt this nagging feeling that he was missing something but his think pan was still too fuzzy to grasp what it was.

He quickly finished his shower and toweled off, leaving the slimy towels in the soiled cloth receptacle and wheeling himself back into the guestblock. A change of clothes was already laid out for him; his things must have arrived when he was asleep. He held up the shirt and stared at the sign, his sign. As though in a dream he reached up and felt the thin silver band that circled his neck.

It seemed impossible that only a day had passed since that horrible ceremony. It was supposed to be a solemn event. Sure, there would be plenty of nobles in the stands looking at the new slave with contempt and distain, but they weren't supposed to openly mock and insult them. They shouldn't have been able to get away with making him crawl to his four wheel device. Most willing slaves were facing culling due to some disability or another so it wasn't as though a cripple was new to the officials. When Aradia first suggested this to Tavros he looked up the vidlogs of other ceremonies; as they were a matter of public record anyone could view them. No one else was in a four wheel device but he saw plenty of canes, crutches, and braces being handed to the new slave without any fuss.

They definitely shouldn't have been able to burn all of his clothes and make him go outside naked. But they saw Gamzee as the best kind of victory. Not only was an indigoblood who used to be friends with those in the lower classes taking one to be his property, but it was a friend of Feferi's doing it. So they made an example of them, humiliating Tavros in every way so they could point to Gamzee sitting there impassively and crow in triumph. Celebrate their win while Gamzee was dying inside.

Tavros realized his hands were shaking. A few sweeps ago he wouldn't have believed he could feel this way, but the events of the previous day just made him so _angry_.

He took a deep breath and pushed the rage away. Gamzee was going to be feeling enough for both of them and Tavros had to be strong for him. None of the shame of the previous day mattered anyway; Tavros was saved from culling, Gamzee was saved from suspicion, and the others were saved from being used against Gamzee. For that Tavros would gladly suffer through another ceremony if he had to. He'd even repeat the shuttle ride with Canren. It was all worth the safety they all gained.

Not to mention that Tavros was home. Home with Gamzee where he belonged. It didn't matter how angry either of them got because the other would always be right there to kiss it all better. Just like how Gamzee made it better the night before...

The circumstances of Tavros's passing out suddenly came back to him.

"Did I really start sobbing right after he came?" he asked the wall. He recounted the memory and realized that was exactly what happened. He was so embarrassed he dropped his shirt and slapped both hands against his forehead. Yes, he was in fact so smooth that he burst into tears right after having sex with his matesprit.

Not yet done with the emotional hairpin turns, Tavros blushed brown as he remembered exactly how _good_ the sex had been. Gamzee was always amazing but last night was... Tavros squirmed at the thought of how his lover touched him. And then as he was watching Gamzee moving above him, in him, he was gripped by some unnamable urge and he did _that_. Tasting his own genetic material was a level of kinky Tavros didn't know he was capable of. He wondered if all the stress broke him and made him crazy, which he realized was probably true given how he couldn't stop the meltdown even though it was making Gamzee feel absolutely terrible.

That thought snapped Tavros from his embarrassed daze and he quickly got dressed. He paused for a moment when he picked his shirt back up, staring at the brown symbol that was no longer his. Now that he was more awake he was registering the dull throb of the hatch marked cuts on the back of his neck: his slavemark. Gamzee's sign was the only sign he would be able to wear from then on.

He shook his head as if to dislodge the wistfulness he felt when he looked at the symbol he wouldn't wear again. What he gained far outweighed the loss of his sign. Though something would have to be done about his wardrobe; he hadn't even thought of it in the whirlwind of the perigee before the ceremony, but he needed new shirts. For the time being he turned the one in his hands inside out so that the sign wasn't showing; it would do until he could order some blank ones from Kanaya.

Fully dressed—did that ever feel good—Tavros left the guestblock and entered a warzone. At least it looked like one, with rooms gutted and walls knocked out. Luckily the busiest construction was going on at the other side of the hive so Tavros didn't have too much trouble getting past the carpenter drones.

Tavros knew exactly where Gamzee would be. The sand of the beach wasn't exactly four wheel device friendly, but Tavros had lots of practice picking his way across a path of sparse grass and patches of gravel. It was slow going but Tavros finally made it to the water's edge. There was a large flat rock right on the waves. Gamzee sat on it cross-legged and stared out over the gray ocean, his face painted white and black.

Tavros saw the face paint and slowed his approach. He knew that it was a sign of the worst.

When the two of them first became matesprits Gamzee stopped wearing the makeup when he knew he was going to have a chance to be intimate with Tavros; aside from getting smeared everywhere it wasn't exactly designed to be kissed and so it left Tavros with an unpleasant aftertaste. Tavros was struck silent the first time he saw Gamzee without the face paint because, while Gamzee looked good with it on, he was absolutely stunning with it off.

It was a few seasons before Tavros worked up the nerve to tell his matesprit this. Gamzee was pleased with the compliment and stopped putting it on anytime that he and Tavros would be together, even if it was a group outing. This was the same timeframe when Gamzee was cutting back on the pies and he did it for the same reason: Tavros. Not that Tavros ever asked him to stop wearing makeup, just as there was never any request that he step away from the sopor; Gamzee did it on his own because he felt it was getting in the way of being affectionate with his matesprit. It was purely a purely functional choice and nothing else, or at least it was.

The whole thing started as soon as Gamzee was free of the sopor haze and a little more aware of what was going on around him, but everything came to a head a sweep ago. Terezi had started her internship with the junior small claims branch of the Legislacerators and spent most of her free time ranting to the others about all the corruption she was seeing; their justice system was supposed to be harsh but it was also supposed to be fair. Everywhere she looked were different rules for the different classes. She said that the breakdown in justice was making her sick.

The double standards were brought into sharper focus when Sollux admitted that he had been hacking Tavros's name off the culling list ever since the FLARP accident. Sollux said that he was only doing it temporarily to give Tavros enough time to overcome his disability, but then the hacker stumbled upon logged conversations and records from the culling ministry that made it clear that was never going to happen. The internal memos and reviews which should have detailed and updated the culling boards on Tavros's recovery were completely blank. As far as the board was concerned, Tavros was still as he had been when he first fell off that cliff. When Sollux looked into disabilities among the higher bloods the reviews were filled with information, and the higher the blood the more favorable the diagnosis.

When Sollux told everyone what he found Tavros took it hard. He really thought that everything he had done—honing his psychic abilities, making the working half of his body strong, earning a living that a greenblood would be proud of—had shown the culling board that he deserved to live. When Tavros found out that he never had a chance he was crushed. Several days after Sollux broke the news Tavros was able to make his roundabout way to Gamzee's hive. He was hoping to collapse into his matesprit's arms and just cry it out. He didn't expect to come around the last bend and see a bonfire on the beach.

Gamzee was standing in front of the fire and at his right were a series of crates, all stuffed full. As Tavros picked his way across the rocky and grassy areas Gamzee took things out of the crates and threw them into the fire one by one. By the time Tavros made it to his matesprit's side the crates were half empty. Yet to be burned were dozens of posters depicting clowns which may not be in full possession of their mental faculties, a couple dozen books with 'miracle' in the title, a few more about the dark carnival, horns of all sizes, and sweeps upon sweeps of pamphlets and flyers sent out by CMM—the Cult of the Mirthful Messiahs.

When Tavros wheeled up beside him Gamzee acknowledged his presence with a glance and then went back to throwing things into the fire. Gamzee's face was makeup free save for a few smudges left around his eyes and hairline. His unpainted face was a stony mask and the motions of picking something up and tossing it were almost mechanical, but with a hidden edge of anger. Tavros didn't know what to say or do so he just sat there in shock and watched his matesprit burn a lifetime of faith.

When the crates were emptied Gamzee collapsed next to Tavros's four wheel device. He took Tavros's hand in his and pressed kisses against the palm. As the fire burned itself out so did Gamzee's barely suppressed rage and he was left with an empty sort of grief. There staring at the embers Gamzee said that he didn't believe in miracles anymore, not if someone as strong and amazing as Tavros could be tossed aside by anyone.

Given a season Tavros convinced him not to let go of everything. Given time Gamzee accepted miracles again, though under different rules. This new, more hands on definition of miracles was the only thing he kept of his old faith. He refused to replace what he lost in the purge by bonfire, he broke off all contact with the CMM, and he didn't wear his makeup again.

Except very, very rarely when he buried himself in a pie tin and in his sorrow thought of the time when he had faith without basis or reason. When he'd sunk so far in his sopor haze that he couldn't see reality anymore he'd think that he believed in miracles when he wore the face paint, so maybe if he wore it again he'd find a way to pretend that all he had to do was pray and everything would be okay.

Tavros looked at the man he loved sitting there stoned out of his mind. He looked at Gamzee vacantly clinging to the naïve convictions of yesterday and felt as though his soul was being ripped to shreds.


	6. Chapter 6

Tavros had long since come to terms with his disability. Even in the wake of the revelations leading him to sitting naked in the center of that ceremonial room he never blamed his paralysis. The evidence Sollux pulled up made it clear that he probably would have been culled even without the injury, and learning to overcome his inability to walk made him stronger. Knowing what it was like to feel the ground crumble under his feet, experiencing a small eternity of falling through the air, understanding that it could have been his skull that was split in two instead of his spine... it made him reevaluate many things about himself.

Tavros was pretty sure that if he didn't have his accident he wouldn't have had the courage to pull Gamzee into his lap. If not for the injury making him prove that he was stronger than he thought he probably wouldn't have pressed that first chaste kiss against his matesprit's lips.

He was irritated with his disability at times, of course. Anytime his four wheel device rolled down his recuperacoon ramp he would get plenty frustrated. But it was just annoyance, strong sometimes but simple annoyance nonetheless. The first few perigees were rough, but once he got over the initial shock he never railed against the universe for his unfortunate turn of events.

Until then.

The rock slab Gamzee was sitting on was a black glassy thing, forged in a volcano and then polished by the winds sweeping sand across the surface. It was damp from the ocean's spray. The lowest point was still at Tavros's eye level from where he was sitting and there was no way he would be able to pull himself up onto the slick surface. For the first time he glared at his knees and uttered a low curse against his useless legs. The only way Tavros would be able to get up there so he could comfort his matesprit was if Gamzee helped him, and Tavros wasn't even sure if Gamzee would be physically capable of that. Tavros couldn't remember seeing him this out of it, even when it was the norm.

Tavros looked back at the hive and at the spot where Canren's shuttle was parked the day before. He didn't think that Canren or anyone else would come by anytime soon given that the heavy construction was publicly announced, but Tavros knew it could still happen. He touched his temple and gathered together all the animals in range, both on land and in the sea, and formed them into a watchful circle. He searched among the life energy connected to him for something big enough to get him onto the slab. Unfortunately between Eridan's underwater perimeter and Gamzee's lusus there was little in the way of big game in the area.

Tavros didn't want to make Gamzee come and get him—he should be able to announce his arrival by way of wrapping his arms around Gamzee's shoulders and he cursed his stupid _stupid_ legs—but there was no other choice. Tavros softly called his matesprit's name. Then he did it again, a little louder. By the fifth repetition Tavros was close to shouting and Gamzee still hadn't so much as twitched in recognition. Tavros felt his acid sack sink as panic gripped him. He cast his ability out as far as it could go trying to find something to help him and found nothing. Nothing he was shouting was getting through, so out of desperation he slid out of his chair, grabbed a rock from the beach, and tossed it at Gamzee.

The gentle throw hit Gamzee in the back. He finally stirred and looked around blankly. Tavros tossed another one, this one skittering across the top of the rock slab, and Gamzee finally looked over his shoulder and at Tavros. For a long minute the two stared at each other, Gamzee taking far too long to focus and Tavros trying to swallow the rising dread so he could stay strong and steady for his matesprit.

"Gamzee, are you okay?" Tavros asked hesitantly, afraid of what the answer might be.

Gamzee said nothing and they stared at each other for a while longer. Tavros was just taking a deep breath to ask again when Gamzee suddenly moved. He scooted to the edge of the slab and slid off, and then looked distantly surprised when his knees buckled and he ended up falling sideways into the sand. When a shard of rock drew a trickle of indigo from Gamzee's forearm Tavros winced; Gamzee did not. After taking some time to gape at the stars Gamzee was up again and making his unsteady way to where his matesprit was sitting on the beach. Tavros was unceremoniously hauled up, Gamzee almost losing grip a couple times but somehow they got up on the slab without any further injuries.

Once he dragged Tavros to the center of the stone Gamzee slumped and flopped onto his back. Tavros pulled himself between Gamzee's bent legs and lay on top of him, finally able to get a good appraising look at his matesprit. The face paint design Tavros remembered from Gamzee's juggalo days was recognizable, but only barely. The lines between black and white that were always so crisp and clean were blurred and shaky. His hair was matted on one side; while it looked like he had gotten into the trap to clean off the sopor he didn't scrub all that hard.

Tavros checked the cut and was relieved to see that it was little more than a scratch; it would stop bleeding soon. As he carefully poked around the wound Gamzee finally took notice of the injury. He batted Tavros's hands out of the way and ran his other hand over the cut. Gamzee looked at the indigo blood smeared across his palm and frowned. It was the first time his expression changed from the blank sopor stare and Tavros sagged with relief; Gamzee was still somewhat aware.

"Gamzee? Please, look at me," Tavros asked.

Gamzee kept staring at the indigo traces on his hand. The frown deepened.

"Gamzee, come on, over here okay?" Tavros pulled himself up a little further so that he was in Gamzee's line of sight, and the dilated eyes finally turned towards him. "There you are. Okay, Gamzee, I need you to tell me something. How many pies have you eaten? Can you tell me that?"

Gamzee turned his head to the side and looked at the empty tins sitting on the slab. The frown deepened as his fingers twitched as he tried to count out the answer. He settled on a number and didn't look too happy about it.

"Jus' a sec," Gamzee mumbled, the first thing he said since Tavros found him. He slid backwards out from under Tavros and gathered up the empty tins before standing up and walking towards the water's edge.

"Gamzee!" If Tavros wasn't so worried he might have rolled his eyes. "You just got me up here. Don't _leave_."

"Jus' a sec," Gamzee repeated as he jumped down off the edge of the slab. While he was still unsteady he didn't stumble and fall again; Tavros hoped it was a sign that the slime was wearing off. For lack of anything better to do Tavros pulled himself a little closer to the edge of the stone in case he had to roll down to get to Gamzee quickly. While he was moving Gamzee started flinging the empty tins out to sea.

Gamzee started to throw the last one, but stopped and held it up in front of his face and squinted at it. After a few moments contemplation he dropped it on the sand and reached for the hem of his shirt. Gamzee had considerable difficulty maneuvering it over his long horns but eventually he got it off. He then squatted down and came back up wringing out the soaked material; once it was no longer dripping Gamzee started scrubbing at his face with it.

Tavros found a level spot on the edge of the slab and sat on the edge. He sighed and held his hands out to Gamzee and gently said, "Gamzee, come here. Let me do that."

The scrubbing increased in pace.

"You're missing spots." It was also possible that Gamzee was going to get salt water in his eyes. "Let me help you get it all off, okay?"

Gamzee slowly nodded and shuffled over to where his matesprit was sitting. Tavros took the wet shirt and cleaned off the makeup as best he could. He left the dark smudges around Gamzee's eyes, and that which had been smeared into his hair wasn't moving, but Tavros was able to get the rest of it off.

"There you go," Tavros said as he laid the shirt out on the rock to dry. He turned back to Gamzee and brushed the back of his fingers against his matesprit's clean, if salty, cheek. "Much better."

Gamzee leaned into the light touch and almost fell to the side again. Tavros got a firmer grip on Gamzee's face and studied the dilated eyes and the clammy skin under his hands. Tavros bit his lip and sent a psychic request to a nest of leafrodents at the base of the cliffs; at the height of a troll's knee they weren't big enough to have helped Tavros onto the slab but they could retrieve some things from the hive.

"Okay, Gamzee, please look at me?" Tavros tugged Gamzee closer as he soothingly caressed his matesprit's cheek. "Gamzee, how many pies? Do I... d-do I need to get you to a medical facility?"

Gamzee turned around and went back to the water's edge.

"Gamzee!" Tavros's frustration was starting to bleed into anger, both at his matesprit for moving out of reach and at his legs for making his reach so limited. He glared as Gamzee knelt by the water and washed out the remaining tin in the surf.

Finally, Gamzee looked over his shoulder. "... Tav?"

"Yes?"

He looked away and swallowed hard. "Don' watch."

"What do you—" Tavros's eyes widened in alarm, "—Gamzee, wait!"

Tavros watched in dismay as Gamzee lifted the tin to his lips. He gulped all the brine down and then fell forward onto his hands and knees. Tavros shook himself out of his shock and pushed himself off the slab. He got to Gamzee just as the heaves gave way to being violently sick.

Tavros felt completely useless sitting there next to Gamzee, rubbing his back as he vomited up green sludge mixed with indigo bile. When Tavros touched his fingers to Gamzee's neck the skin was too cool and the pulse he felt was too fast. He send out a frantic request for a comm device to the leafrodents still gathering things from the temporary storage crates; he prayed that he wouldn't have to call for a medishuttle but if Gamzee had enough sopor that he felt the need to throw it all up...

"Thass pies a muzzerfuckin' bad," Gamzee slurred after the heaves died down to shivers. He sat back on his ankles and went back to staring at the smudges of blood on his palm.

Tavros took his matesprit's face in his hands and looked into bloodshot eyes; still unfocused but not as dilated as when Gamzee hauled him up onto the rock. Gamzee's skin was damp both from the ocean's spray and his own indigo tinged sweat; between the moisture and the breeze of the cool dark season they were entering Gamzee was shivering. At least, Tavros hoped it was the wind making his matesprit shiver and not the sopor. Tavros pulled Gamzee sideways into his lap and shifted them around so that his back was to the wind; the shielding and shared body heat did wonders for Gamzee's temperature and Tavros breathed a sigh of relief.

"Gamzee, do you need medical help?" Tavros asked again. He rubbed the heat back into Gamzee's arms. "Are you going to be okay?"

"No meds," Gamzee mumbled. "M'okay. Jus' gotta not be a fuckin' moron." He managed to focus on his matesprit's face. "Don' eat the slime."

"I won't, Gamzee."

"I'm muzzerfuckin' seriomish. Tha' shit's no good."

In spite of the situation, Tavros couldn't help but smile. Gamzee was high as a paneled fabric gliding apparatus and he was still trying to look out for his matesprit's health.

"I promise that I won't eat the slime," Tavros said in earnest. Gamzee seemed to accept this and they sat in silence for a few moments while Tavros checked on the leafrodents' progress. Gamzee leaned back and watched the other man with a goofy grin; Tavros had previously been told that he looked 'motherfucking adorable' when he was communing with the animals. Tavros blushed at the approving scrutiny and marveled at Gamzee's ability to get him flustered no matter what the situation. Gamzee was apparently unsatisfied with the amount of blood rushing to Tavros's face and so he prepared his best seductive gaze and let his eyes slowly travel down Tavros's body.

He didn't get far. Gamzee's movement stopped and he suddenly scowled at his matesprit's chest. He reached up and grabbed at Tavros's left sleeve and growled after a few insistent tugs did nothing. Tavros was about to ask what he was doing when Gamzee gripped the right sleeve and gave it a sharp yank; the snaps holding the shoulder seam together came open with a series of pops. Tavros understood Gamzee's initial confusion—with his shirt inside out the snaps weren't where they were supposed to be—but he wasn't sure what Gamzee was trying to do. His first instinct was that Gamzee wanted the same kind of comfort he needed the night before, but then something told him that wasn't the case.

Whatever it was Gamzee seemed angrily intent on getting his matesprit shirtless. Tavros wasn't going to let it get to sex while Gamzee was so out of it, particularly given how badlythe night before had gone, but he figured that snuggling bare-chested would do some good. Besides, with the way Gamzee was clumsily clawing at the side seam he was going to rip the shirt to shreds without some help. Tavros gently pushed Gamzee's hands away and pulled the side seam open. He slid the shirt off and Gamzee snatched the fabric up as soon as it cleared Tavros's arm. Tavros hugged the other man close, glad to feel that Gamzee's skin was far warmer than it had been.

"Okay," Tavros said when he pulled back. He looked to the side and saw that the leafrodents had arrived and were laying out the picnic blanket on the sand. Another blanket was being dragged across the beach; Tavros just had to get Gamzee over there and under the second blanket. "All right, Gamzee, let's go over there. Is that okay with you?"

Gamzee didn't respond. He was too busy looking at the black shirt in his hands.

"Come on, Gamzee. It's kind of chilly here by the water, but over there we can lie on the blanket with another one on top and it'll be nice and warm. We can just hold each other and talk about... what are you..." 

Gamzee was trying to put the shirt back on Tavros, but his sluggish and uncoordinated movements weren't that effective. At first Tavros thought that Gamzee was trying to keep him from getting cold, triggered by his comment about the chill by the waves, but then Gamzee leaned close enough for him to make out what his matesprit was muttering.

"Oh... oh." Tavros could feel his soul ripping all over again. "Gamzee, no, it's all right."

"Wear yer fuckin' clothes th'right way," Gamzee whispered harshly.

"Gamzee, I promise, it's okay. I-I'm okay with it."

"No," Gamzee said, the clearest he had been since Tavros found him. "No, not okay. Not. Mother. Fuckin'. Okay."

"Gamzee, oh god, I-I..." Tavros's eyes welled up and he choked on his words. Gamzee kept trying to maneuver Tavros's arm into his shirt with an unshakable determination. As the brown tears spilled out over his cheeks Tavros warred with himself, wanting to comfort his matesprit with every fiber of his being while at the same time being scared to the core that someone would see and kill them both.

See him wearing the sign that was no longer his.

"No no no," Gamzee said in sleepy alarm. "No, Tav, please don' cry."

"I'm sorry," Tavros whispered. "God, Gamzee, I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

"Don'—"

"I'm sorry you had to keep quiet when they burned all my clothes. I'm sorry you had to listen to all the highbloods at the ceremony. I'm sorry you had to talk to Canren."

"Tav—"

"I'm sorry that I was such a wreck. I'm sorry that you had to be strong for me and this just festered inside you for a perigee."

Gamzee opened and closed his mouth a few times before deciding on silence.

"Gamzee, there's a blanket over there," Tavros gestured to it. "We're going to go over there and lie down and then you're going to stop holding this in."

"But... but you're the one..."

"Gamzee, you..." Tavros bit his lip and tried to find the right words. "Keeping this bottled up is going to kill you. You're always telling me how I'm so much stronger than I think I am. Please, just let me prove you right."

"Tav, it's—" Gamzee bit his lip and then slowly nodded. "I... yeah. Okay."


	7. Chapter 7

It took a lot of dragging, stumbling, and crawling but the two of them made it over to the picnic blanket. Five leafrodents stood next to it twitching their tails and watching the trolls expectantly. Tavros made a futile attempt at brushing the wet sand off his and Gamzee's pants and then the two of them crawled onto the blanket. Tavros was still hesitant about giving in to Gamzee's demand that he wear his sign and yet he didn't want to outright reject, so he folded his shirt and used it as a pillow when he lay on his back. Tavros held his arms out to Gamzee, who wrung his hands and chewed his lip before finally sprawling on top of his matesprit. After some maneuvering Gamzee was lying on Tavros at an angle that allowed him to pillow his head on the other man's shoulder without his horns posing a danger. Once they were settled the leafrodents pulled the second blanket over them. Tavros tugged it up around Gamzee's shoulders and then turned his eyes towards the pile of things beside them.

"Gamzee," he asked incredulously, "why do you have so much bread?"

When Tavros asked the leafrodents to bring him bread, he thought they would bring a loaf, maybe two. He didn't expect six polyvinyl bags filled with at least ten or twelve loaves as well as at least a couple dozen rolls.

"Mmph," Gamzee breathed against Tavros's chest. "Bake when'm stressed."

"Is it okay if they have some?"

Gamzee lifted his head and squinted at the gathered leafrodents, who wagged their flat tails. After a moment's contemplation he shrugged and flopped back down onto his matesprit.

Tavros sent the psychic okay and three of them started dragging bags back towards the cliff to share with the rest of their nest. The other two stayed to move things within Tavros's reach, starting with one of the bags of bread. Tavros fished out one of the smaller loafs and held it up behind Gamzee's back. He tore it in half and handed one part to the leafrodents. The other he tore into smaller pieces which he set on top of an empty bag. Once that was all prepared he held one of the pieces where Gamzee could see it.

"Could you eat something? Please?"

Gamzee huffed as if irritated, but he reached over and took the offered morsel. After glaring at the bread for a moment he ate it.

They passed their time in silence for a while, Tavros handing over the chunks and making sure his matesprit ate them. He hoped that the bread would soak up whatever slime was left and slow down how fast it was being absorbed. When all the pieces were gone Tavros felt Gamzee's pulse and was relieved to find that it had slowed considerably.

"Okay, Gamzee," he said, "we're just going to wait this out here. Does that sound good to you?"

Gamzee nodded and his horn tapped the side of Tavros's head. "Mph, sorry," he mumbled guiltily.

"It's okay," Tavros soothed, "you only barely touched me, and besides, I've got a pretty tough skull."

"No... sorry 'bout this muzzerfuckin' mess I'm all up in bein'. S'no good."

Tavros hugged him tight. "How long have you been strong for me? Just let me return the favor, okay?"

Gamzee shook his head and kissed Tavros's chest. "I dunno."

"You already said that you would let it out."

"I muzzerfuckin' dunno!" Gamzee propped himself up so he could glare at Tavros. "Why're you so okay with this? After what... after what those fuckin' bastards did t'you..."

"Gamzee, it's okay."

"No, it's muzzerfuckin' _not okay_."

Tavros sighed and cupped Gamzee's cheek and rubbed his thumb along his matesprit's bottom lip.

"Mph, stop makin' m'think pan all fuzzy."

"Then you stop arguing with me. It's okay. I'm okay. Doing this is keeping everyone safe, well, safer. That's worth everything that happened yesterday."

Gamzee shook his head. "Maybe this's why I've gotta be all hatin' those bastards so much. You're too fuckin' nice to do it."

"I hate them too," Tavros replied. Gamzee was momentarily stunned by the venom in his matesprit's voice. "I can't wait for Feferi to take the throne and change all this. But, until then, this is the best we can do."

"You deserve better," Gamzee said. He settled back down with his head resting on Tavros's shoulder. "Deserve so much muzzerfuckin' better than this."

"You deserve better than this, too."

Gamzee laughed and planted a kiss on Tavros's collarbone. "Have you, babe. S'already more than I fuckin' deserve."

Tavros went pleasantly warm from head to toe. "N-no, I'm the lucky one."

"One a these days I'm gonna get you believin' the muzzerfuckin' truth." Gamzee squeezed Tavros tight. "You make me better. You're the best thing has ever happened to me. And... and those fuckin' bastards treated you like... like..."

Tavros could feel the hot tears on his chest. "It's okay. I love you and I'm right here."

"... Tav... oh, Tav..."

Gamzee didn't say much after that, and what he did say was too muffled and broken to make out. He sobbed into Tavros's chest while his matesprit held him close and whispered soothing nothings. It didn't last for long; from how quickly Gamzee dropped off Tavros doubted he slept much, if any, the day before.

Once he was sure that Gamzee was asleep, Tavros sent another series of requests to the one remaining leafrodent. First he asked it to bring over the portable medical scanner that Gamzee received from a business partner; she owned the factory that made the scanners and Gamzee owned the factory that produced the refraction crystals used in the devices. Up until then the scanner had merely sat on display—that is, buried under a pile of socks—but if there was ever a time to use it this was it.

Tavros pressed the device to Gamzee's neck and tried to remember the sequence of buttons he needed. Gamzee only showed him how to use it once, and even then not very well. After some trial and error Tavros came up with the relevant numbers. Of course, he still didn't know what the numbers meant.

Another short psychic request later and Gamzee's husktop was on the blanket beside them. Using it was pretty much impossible in their current position since Tavros couldn't turn his head far enough to see the screen. He warred with himself for a minute before slowly and carefully shifting Gamzee onto his back. Gamzee twitched and groaned but he didn't wake up. Tavros rolled onto his stomach and draped an arm across Gamzee's chest while he used his free hand to drag the husktop around.

"How do you type one-handed all the time?" Tavros asked as he awkwardly entered keywords into a search engine. Gamzee mumbled something that might have been an answer and then reached up to hug Tavros's arm.

While it was a clumsy position Tavros found a way to make it work, and before long he found a page that helped him decode the scanner's readings. After a few misses he found a government sponsored and therefore reliable site that listed the symptoms and treatments for a few thousand maladies and conditions, from wakening psychic abilities to sopor overdose. Tavros nearly face planted into the keyboard with relief when he finished reading the list of symptoms; Gamzee wasn't showing the signs of a deadly overdose. Tavros was also relieved to see that 'culling' wasn't listed as a treatment; the cures were listed were likely to actually do some good.

According to the information on the site Gamzee was in the moderate but not particularly dangerous bracket, the one with a racing heart and clammy skin. Tavros and Gamzee's combined instincts were right on how to deal with it too; the site said that the first step for treating that level of overdose was to induce vomiting and the second was keeping the patient warm. It also said that he needed to make sure Gamzee stayed hydrated and Tavros had a moment of blind panic as he wondered if the bread did more harm than good. With difficulty he managed to calm himself down and he decided that the best thing to do would be to make sure Gamzee drank a glass of water as soon as he was conscious enough to do so. If Gamzee could make it back to the hive then they'd do that, if not then Tavros would have the leafrodents bring some water back to the beach. The only other thing he could do is wait for it to clear Gamzee's system.

When the knot of tension in Tavros's chest finally unraveled the exhaustion hit him like an avalanche. He pushed the husktop away and buried his face in the crook of his arm as he wondered how he was able to ignore how much his neck hurt. He felt the bandage and immediately regretted it; the mark _burned_. The burst of pain was making his pulse race and that made the self-inflicted bites on his lip and tongue throb. Tavros was feeling terrible in general, and then looking at the husktop he remembered that it was going to get a lot worse...

Tavros typed a new address into the browser. It was a site he'd spent a lot of time on the past perigee, ever since Aradia unintentionally gave him the idea to become a willing slave. It was the government site dedicated to videos of all public legal affairs, from trials and hangings to major business contracts to slave ceremonies. He skimmed the list of names on recent updated and sure enough _Gamzee Makara takes willing slave Tavros Nitram_ went up on the site less than an hour before.

Soon Sollux would be hearing a ding from his watchgrub program, if he hadn't already. He wrote the program to notify him if any of their names came up on search warrants or culling notices... once Sollux realized that their names were in the slave registry it wouldn't take him a second to find the page Tavros was staring at.

It was such a delicate situation. Tavros's enslavement had to be handled the right way or else it would all be for nothing. It wouldn't save him, it wouldn't change Gamzee's reputation, and it wouldn't keep the others safe. Of course, an indigoblood making a break with the gutterbloods he once associated with wouldn't talk to them about his 'acquisition'. If Tavros was being forced to give up his sign then he wouldn't want his friends to know his shame. If they didn't love each other then neither one would want to tell the others.

So they didn't.

Gamzee had set Trollian to run invisibly, so even though Tavros was staring at the contact list he shared with his matesprit no messages were popping up. The icon for twinArmageddons was still ghosted out and there was no telling when Sollux would be back at his husktop. No telling how long it would be until he told the others what had happened.

Tavros put it out of his mind. It wasn't as though they could go back and undo this. The video was in the public archive and it was going to stay there where anyone could see it. They would all be able to watch him crawl naked across the floor while the audience all laughed and jeered.

He blinked back tears. Tavros reminded himself that it was his turn to be strong for his matesprit. He looked over at Gamzee, who was still hugging his arm, and in spite of everything he couldn't help but laugh softly. Even with the big dark circles of the eye makeup and the tearstained cheeks, Gamzee was still beautiful. Tavros propped his head on his hand and watched his matesprit sleep, secure in the knowledge that whatever life threw at them, they would be together.

Tavros stayed like that for a while, just watching the gentle rise and fall of Gamzee's chest and occasionally checking his vitals. He lost track of time and for a while it was almost pleasant. Then the husktop chimed, indicating Trollian was receiving a new message. While Tavros lay there trying very hard not to look at the screen, three more chimes followed the first in rapid succession. Tavros imagined that the familiar tones sounded angry.

With a heavy sigh he looked at the screen.

The first message was from Karkat. Even though the alert sounded less than a minute ago there was already a wall of maroon text filling the window.

– **carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –**

**CG: I WISH I COULD HAVE A NICE PLEASANT CHAT WITH MY PAST SELF ABOUT THIS.**

**CG: JUST SIT THERE AND SHOOT THE FUCKING BREEZE WITH THAT MISERABLE SHITSTAIN.**

**CG: THE FIRST THING ON THE TEMPORAL AGENDA WOULD BE TELLING HIM TO STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT HOW FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THE CARPET IS.**

**CG: WHILE YOU GROPED YOUR SHITTY HORNS AND WENT AROUND BEING A USELESS FUCK.**

**CG: THEN PAST ME THOUGHT IT WAS TWELFTH PERIGEE EVE WHEN YOU STOPPED WITH THE FUCKING PIES AND STARED ACTING LIKE A NORMAL TROLL WITH A THINK PAN THAT WASN'T FUCKING RUSTED OUT.**

**CG: PAST ME WAS TOO MUCH OF A NOOK WHIFFING GRUB TO REALIZE THAT, WHILE THE HONKS AND THE CLOWN BULLSHIT WERE PRETTY GOD DAMN ANNOYING, PAST GAMZEE HAD NOTHING ON THE COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLE HE WAS GOING TO BE.**

**CG: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE WON THE SUPREME HIGHBLOOD DOUCHEBAGGERY AWARD.**

**CG: WAIT, FUCK.**

**CG: YOU REMEMBERED YOU'RE A FUCKING INDIGOBLOOD. **

**CG: SHIT, I**

– **carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –**

Tavros rubbed his cheek and looked back over at Gamzee. He didn't know how his matesprit would handle this. Not the swearing and insults—that was completely normal—but the fact that Karkat was _scared_ of him.

With rising dread Tavros clicked to the next tab.

– **arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –**

**AC: :33 *ac flexes her sharp claws and advances on her purrey***

**AC: :33 *she bares her t33th and hisses***

**AC: :33 *and**

**AC: no**

**AC: i cant**

**AC: gamzee why**

Tavros quickly moved to the next tab and rubbed his eyes. He wanted so much to tell Nepeta it was okay but he just couldn't. It wouldn't look right. In theory he was being broken and trained and only after that would be allowed to use Trollian again. So no matter how much he wanted to comfort Nepeta he couldn't.

He wondered if he should talk to her even after he 'earned' his Trollian privileges. Nepeta's relationship with Equius elevated her status and that allowed her to get a job she loved working on a plantation not far from her old mountain hive. Her bosses might frown upon her talking to a brownblooded slave.

Tavros hated the thought that he could hurt his friends just by being their friends.

– **gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –**

**GC: 1 DONT C4R3 TH4T 1TS L3G4L**

**GC: W3R3 THROUGH**

– **gallowsCalibrator [GC] blocked terminallyCapricious [TC] –**

He pressed his face into the blanket and tried to shut it all out. The only reason they hated Gamzee is because he was trying to save his matesprit. Tavros tried to tell himself that once they could get the word to their friends personally then they would understand and that it would all be okay. The sentiment rang hollow even inside his own head.

Tavros looked at his matesprit and warred with himself before finally deciding that Gamzee did not need to see this. He changed the settings so that Trollian wouldn't accept offline messages and deleted all the chat logs for that night. Then Tavros snapped the husktop shut and pushed it away. He didn't want to deal with the world. He just wanted it all to go away.

Gamzee came around for a few minutes, not really awake but he was aware enough to want to be closer to Tavros. They moved back into their previous position and soon enough Gamzee was once again asleep on Tavros's chest.


	8. Chapter 8

Tavros was absently staring at the twin moons when his perimeter alerted him to something approaching. All previous disturbances were just wildlife, but this time Tavros was getting the strong psychic image of gray and white; a troll and their lusus. He carefully detangled himself from Gamzee, who vaguely reached for the lost warmth but did not otherwise stir. Tavros sat on the edge of the blanket, putting himself between his matesprit and the intruder's likely path, and then pulled his twin pistols from the holster the leafrodents had retrieved from his four wheel device. According to the beasts in his psychic net the intruder was coming from the water and heading directly for Gamzee's hive, which meant their current path would take them over a sand dune not far from where Tavros and Gamzee were laid out.

Tavros was in no mood to deal with a trespasser. He pulled a few birds and winged lizards into a tighter formation to give him more detailed information on the path the intruder was taking; when they came over the top of that dune Tavros would already have the kill shot. As the beasts filled in more and more details and a comprehensive, familiar picture was coming together, Tavros sighed in irritation. He was hoping that they could put off this conversation for at least a couple days, but then again it made sense that Eridan would come in person.

When he came over the dune with his seasteed lusus at his heel the two silver barrels were still pointed straight at his chest; Tavros wasn't going to take any chances. If Eridan had been a stranger then he would have been dead long before he spun around and cocked his rifle. When the royal saw who was pointing a gun at him he huffed and pointed the crosshairs towards the sky; Tavros followed suit with his pistols.

Eridan had changed considerably in the past couple sweeps. He was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to growth spurts but when they finally hit he shot up like a weed. While he never grew into the broad shoulders he claimed his ancestor had, his tall frame was anything but lanky. Eridan was already well proportioned, but in the past sweep he had thrown himself into training for hand to hand combat so that he could better protect Feferi and the muscle looked good on him. His new wardrobe—shirts that were skintight and sleeveless, no cape, and gold colored bracers—reflected the increased time he spent in the water and also netted him admiring gazes wherever he went.

More drastic, however, was the change in demeanor. Tavros never realized how much of Eridan's attitude was posturing until the royal found himself some real confidence. Confidence which was now apparent in every movement which dripped with suppressed fury.

After safely stowing his rifle in his lusus's saddle holster Eridan stormed down the dune. He was within several paces when Gamzee groaned and shifted in his sleep. Eridan froze; it was clear he hadn't noticed Gamzee was there until that moment. The anger that had been simmering just below the surface exploded into inarticulate rage.

"What—you—why did—I don't even—he—_what!_"

"Eridan..." Tavros started to explain, but the royal wasn't listening. Eridan was so furious that a purple flush tinged the skin under his eyes. He stayed where he was and attacked with sheer volume.

"What is fuckin' wrong with you?" he shouted. "I'm seriously tryin' to think of a single bloody reason why you'd become a willin' slave, I am really tryin' here, and I can't think of a single fuckin' thing. I thought he was your matesprit!"

"I, uh," Tavros squeaked. Even though Eridan had come a long way since he was six Tavros still found himself intimidated by the once genocidal royal. "I didn't—"

Eridan suddenly rubbed his temples and took a long, deliberate breath. "No, wait, I shouldn't be yellin' at you."

"R-right, just, uh, let me—"

Eridan stormed a few paces to the side so that Tavros wasn't between him and Gamzee anymore.

"I should be yellin' at this stupid fuck." Eridan pointed a finger and kept on shouting, "Stop ignorin' me you finless fuckin' asshole. It's bloody obvious from that recordin' that I've been neglectin' my moirail duties—"

"Uh, I c-can ex—"

"—the aforementioned duty bein' to kick your reprehensible ass!" Eridan continued, still oblivious to the fact that Gamzee was passed out. "Fef is sobbin' over this, _Makara_, or at least she _was_ when she stopped respondin' to my messages."

Tavros winced at the slightest waver in Eridan's voice when he mentioned Feferi. Her hive had effectively become her prison, and she hadn't ventured farther than her lusus's resting place ever since the first assassins crossed into her waters. Eridan had publicly denounced Feferi when the Empress discovered the heir apparent's plans for the throne, but he was still being closely watched. While he was able to pass off his attempts at protecting Feferi as measures to safeguard his own territory, visiting her hive was completely out of the question. Tavros could sympathize with being unable to comfort one's matesprit, and he decided to let Eridan get that frustration out by yelling. Gamzee couldn't hear it anyway, and once the initial burst of rage was spent Eridan would notice that on his own. Then Tavros could explain.

"So, _Makara_, you've decided to betray Fef. I should kill you now before you have a chance to—"

The fear that gripped Tavros showed plainly on his face and Eridan looked back to him.

"No no no, don't worry, Tav! I know your life is tied to his now," the royal misinterpreted. "If he starts behavin' in a way that indicates he's goin' to turn us all in, _then_ I'll fuckin' kill him. You can hide out at my hive until we can work out somethin' long term."

Tavros's eyes were wide.

Eridan turned to Gamzee once again. "I should have known you were turnin' against her. Against _us_, all a us. Fuck, I should have seen this comin' the second I walked in on you splatterin' the walls. Not that the killin' squad didn't have it comin', but the fact that you were talkin' about givin' them a right and proper highblood if they wanted one... are you even _capable_ of lovin' Tav anymore?"

Tavros thought about the messages Karkat, Nepeta, and Terezi left. He thought about the ones he deleted without reading. He thought about how fast they sent them.

"I suppose the question I should really be askin' is if you were ever capable in the first place. I am seriously doubtin' it! Was the whole matespritship a sham? Were you just seducin' him so you could get out of payin' for his life? Why the fuck would you do this?"

Something snapped.

"He did it because he loves me," Tavros growled.

Eridan rubbed his forehead and sighed in exasperation. "Tav, look, I know acceptin' this might be hard but look at what he did to you."

The only reason the royal wasn't lying on the sand with a broken nose is the fact that Tavros was physically incapable of getting up and punching him.

"He did it because he loves me," Tavros repeated, his voice like sharp gravel starting to shift into a landslide. "He did it to save me from being culled."

"Sol was already workin' on getting your name hacked off the fuckin' list! Is that how _he_ talked you into this?"

Anger won out over intimidation. "This was _my_ idea," Tavros yelled. It was less the volume and more the edge to his voice that stopped Eridan from arguing. The royal's jaw clicked shut and it was his turn to stare wide eyed as Tavros continued at a shout, "This was my idea and it's killing him. And none of you even care! He's been your friend for sweeps and none of you trust him. One look at that video and you're all ready to throw him off a cliff even though he's the most caring, loving, wonderful troll who ever lived and if any of you were paying attention you'd know that!"

Eridan opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. Tavros thought he looked like a fish and the thought almost made him laugh. He clamped down on the thought, on the anger he still wasn't used to feeling, and tried to fight back the rising hysterics.

The awkward silence gave Eridan a chance to really look at Gamzee, who hadn't so much as twitched despite all the shouting. The righteous fury bled out of the royal's expression and left something worn and tired in its place.

"I... is somethin' wrong with him?" Eridan asked, staring at Gamzee's prone form.

Tavros didn't think he could open his mouth without the panicked giggles taking over, so he simply nodded. Eridan looked up at the heavens and sighed. After a few moments he looked back down at Tavros.

"What do you need me to do?"

When the royal didn't press for the reasons why Tavros sagged in relief; he didn't know if he could explain right that moment without suffering another breakdown. Concentrating on getting Gamzee better would help distract him from how everyone turned on his beloved matesprit.

"I could, uh, use some help getting him back to the hive."

Eridan nodded and walked over to the blanket. He kneeled by Gamzee and rolled the sleeping troll onto his back; his brow furrowed to a frown when he saw the remaining makeup and tearstained cheeks.

There wasn't much Tavros could do to help get Gamzee across the beach, so he left Eridan to the task and started making his way to the other side of the rock slab where his four wheel device still rested.

He'd barely made it off the blanket when Eridan suddenly barked, "_Fuckin' stop that!_"

Tavros looked back over his shoulder and asked, "What's wrong?"

Eridan almost looked physically ill. "What the fuck are you doin'?"

"Oh, uh, my four wheel device, well it's, uh," he gestured to the slab, "it's on the other side."

The royal rubbed his temple again. "Right, sure," he muttered before standing. "Tav, stay there and I'll go get it."

"You don't, uh, have to. I can—"

"You fuckin' stay _right there_ and I'll go get the fuckin' thing," Eridan said authoritatively. Tavros didn't argue; it wouldn't have done much good anyway since Eridan was already leaping on top of the slab and locating the device. It wasn't until the royal was halfway back that Tavros connected the nauseated look with his slave ceremony. He started wondering exactly how bad the video made things look if Eridan was having that extreme of a reaction to him crawling a short distance.

The royal parked the device next to the blanket and then turned back to the task of getting Gamzee up the slope. While Eridan wasn't weak by any means his was the lean, toned build of a swimmer with primarily ranged weaponry. Gamzee was exclusively a melee fighter and, while he wasn't as muscular as his matesprit, he was still a solid weight which Eridan was having difficulty hauling up.

Tavros got an idea. "Eridan?"

The royal lay Gamzee back down, frowning when the only response to being manhandled was a faint murmur and a twitch. "Yeah?"

"You can, uh, use my four wheel device. To get Gamzee back to the hive, I mean."

Eridan looked at the device and then at the unconscious troll and decided it was a good idea. "I'll take him up there and then bring your wheelchair back to you."

"Okay."

Tavros held the device still while Eridan loaded Gamzee into it and then the two were off across the low dunes. Tavros was left to wait and stare at the ocean. Idleness wasn't the best thing for him at that moment; as long as he was actively watching and worrying about Gamzee he could ignore the dark thoughts swirling around in his head, but now that he had a short break it was all coming to the surface.

He was broken out of his contemplation by a soft squeak followed by a gentle prod to his shoulder. Eridan's lusus was leaning down and nudging at Tavros with his snout. At that proximity the psychic could clearly sense the seasteed's feelings. Primarily there was worry over his charge's chaotic emotional state with an undercurrent of steely anger pointed at whatever was responsible for Eridan's distress. Running alongside that was his confusion over what the source of the trouble could be—being enraged at society was too complex a concept for a lusus to grasp—and a certain wariness just in case the seasteed was needed in battle. Washing over all of that was a desire to put Eridan's mind at ease, which is why the lusus stayed on the beach to protect and comfort the sad troll his charge was so worried about.

Tavros smiled and pet the seasteed's long snout. The lusus emitted a series of pleased squeaks and leaned into the attention. Tavros marveled at how much had changed in just a couple sweeps; not all that long ago on that very beach, at the get together that brought him face to face with Gamzee for the first time, Tavros had drawn the attention of the seasteed. He was late getting there, not yet familiar with the more stable paths across the beach, and the lusus had drifted over to get a look at the odd creature stuck in the sand. Once Tavros had broken free he had smiled up at the seasteed, always more comfortable with animals than his fellow trolls, and he reached up to stroke the lusus's snout.

He'd barely touched the thin bony plates comprising the seasteed's skin when Eridan had stormed up, absolutely furious that a land dwelling dirtblood would dare lay a hand on his guardian. He had just started to threaten Tavros in a low, terrifying whisper when Sollux arrived in a red-blue flash. Even though Eridan was thoroughly distracted by his loathing for the psionic Tavros was still just shy of hyperventilating when he wheeled himself to the gathering, right up until he saw Gamzee for the first time and everything changed forever.

Eridan had gone on his own path of discovery since he and Tavros first met in person; when he came back with the four wheel device he didn't so much as twitch at the sight of Tavros stroking his lusus's head. He might have even smiled the slightest bit.

"There's a carpenter drone keepin' an eye on Gamzee," Eridan said as he gathered up the husktop and medical scanner.

Tavros didn't answer since he was climbing into his four wheel device, but the assurance relieved some of the tension that gripped him as soon as Gamzee was out of sight. While carpenter drones weren't that smart outside of their specialty they could be trusted to watch an injured troll for a short period of time.

Once he was settled Tavros surveyed the landscape in hopes of finding a decent four wheel device friendly trail. But of course there was a reason why he came down on the other side. There were long stretches of sand without any grass or gravel and that was not going to be fun to get through on the slopes.

Eridan looked back and forth between the sand and the four wheel device before asking, "Do you need some help?"

Tavros nodded. He held onto the husktop and scanner while Eridan pushed him up to the hive, the seasteed trailing behind them. Gamzee was leaned against the outside wall with a drone hovering over him; once they got close Eridan waved it off and it returned to work. After a short discussion on the strategy of moving the unconscious troll they decided on setting him in Tavros's lap while Eridan pushed them both inside.


	9. Chapter 9

Some of you may be wondering what Tavros is so angry about. Willing slave? His life tied to Gamzee? Paying for it? Is this another needlessly complicated and structured facet of troll society like the romantic quadrants?

Yes. Yes it is.

photobucket (dot) com/albums/b98/tommiV13/darkseason (underscore) slave01 (dot) png

While, of course, the presence of such a quadrant system will often reduce our sparing human intellects to the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable, we can do our best to understand. Besides, since this particular quadrant system is rooted in bureaucracy and not emotion... well it's probably more confusing, but we can still take a stab at it.

The difference between a bought and a won slave is simple: a bought slave was already on the culling list whereas a won slave was not. In the case of a bought slave the master must purchase the slave's life from the government before the date of their culling. The term 'won slave' comes from cases where two trolls enter into a wager where the highblood stakes an enormous sum of money and the lowblood puts their freedom on the table. However, a highblood may also win a slave though a contract.

Tavros is considered a won slave by contract. As far as the paperwork is concerned he offered his services as a psychic to Gamzee in exchange for protection from the culling board. Since he did this before he was actually on the culling list, Gamzee didn't have to buy his freedom from the government. When Eridan asked if the whole matespritship was a sham, he was accusing Gamzee of seducing Tavros towards the sole end of netting himself a free slave. You can see why this didn't go over so well with Tavros.

As you may remember the title of the ceremony's video log was _Gamzee Makara takes willing slave Tavros Nitram_, not 'won willing slave'. This is because bought and won makes no difference to anything aside from the master's checkbook. There are plenty who want to know if a slave was bought or won since the terms will say something about the master, thus why slave status is commonly divided into quadrants, but the only official difference is that between willing and unwilling.

While the difference between bought and won is cosmetic, there is a chasm between the official categories of willing and unwilling slaves. There are vastly different rules and regulations in place for each. While the terms are rooted in the slave's attitude about their new lot in life, time and tradition have changed the meanings. The short version is that an unwilling slave can be traded, bought, and sold, while a willing slave is bound to a single master.

Tavros has become a willing slave. That's why Gamzee's sign was permanently cut and dyed into the back of his neck; a willing slave will only belong to one master. If the master dies for then the slave will be placed on the culling list. There are means to transfer ownership of a willing slave in extreme circumstances, however, it takes a bureaucratic nightmare and so not many of the masters who meet the criteria have the strength to follow through on that option. On the other hand, transferring an unwilling slave to another owner only takes a few forms and a couple days.

It should be noted that the binding of a willing slave's life to their master is a two way street. If the master falls on hard times then they _cannot_ get rid of their willing slaves as a means to ease their financial burden. Since most 'young adult' cullings have to do with how much money a troll has in the bank, only the most financially stable will take on the risk of a willing slave. There are, of course, those who try to get out of taking care of their willing slaves by becoming their own culling board, but only if they're feeling extremely stupid. If a willing slave turns up dead when finances get tight the Legislacerators tend to skip even a cursory glance and slap the master with an enormous fine which is big enough to push the master's checkbook into the culling zone.

Because taking on a willing slave is such a financial risk, which in turn can endanger the life of the potential master, you don't see all that many willing slaves belonging to young masters. Generally a troll would have to be at least 14 sweeps—30 years in our terms—before they'd even consider the possibility of being stable enough to afford a willing slave. This is why the case of _Repath Gospor takes willing slave Dinola ZazdraI_ (the two original character female trolls) is so extraordinary since Gospor was only 6.5 when she became a master.

Aside from ease of trade, an unwilling slave falls under much stricter regulations than a willing slave. For example, the only requirement for a willing slave's collar is that there's some indication of their blood color; the form and material can be whatever the master wishes. On the other hand, all unwilling slaves' collars are identical black metal cuffs with a sturdy ring welded to the front and a removable panel with their current master's sign in the back—no indication of blood color whatsoever. While unwilling slaves are of course considered below any free troll they are still ranked according to the hemospectrum, however, an unwilling slave exists in a sort of null state. They're not considered to be in the hemospectrum at all, which is why for example a greenblooded unwilling slave is expected to follow the commands of a maroonblooded willing slave (provided they don't contradict any free troll's orders).

So, if you'll look back at the diagram...

photobucket (dot) com/albums/b98/tommiV13/darkseason (underscore) slave01 (dot) png

Tavros is a won willing slave. Officially he entered into a contract with Gamzee in which offering his services as a psychic to protect Gamzee's property from wild animals in exchange for the guarantee he won't be culled for his disability.

Next door to Tavros we have the spirally yellow sign; that's the symbol that once belonged to Dinola Zazdr, the one with the ability to heal the injuries of others. The stress of her psychic ability caused near constant seizures and that got her placed on the culling list. Repath Gospor saw an opportunity and went to Dinola with a proposed contract, which Dinola accepted. Gospor then purchased Dinola's life from the government with the contract in place, and that is how Dinola became a bought willing slave.

The two slaves whose stripped signs occupy the unwilling quadrants don't play a major role in the story, which is why we're not going to bother with names and drawings right now.

The tomato-soup colored sign belongs to a maroonblooded bought unwilling slave. He was in an accident that left him with a heavy limp and minimal use of one arm, which landed him a culling notice. His first master bought him as a sort of starter slave since, as a crippled maroonblood, his life was very cheap.

The greenblooded won unwilling slave has always been perfectly healthy and uninjured. He just has the smallest of issues with his pride getting him into trouble. An insulted indigoblood challenged him to a fight, the wager being a large sum of money against the greenblood's freedom. However, Repath Gospor was watching this take place and she asked the indigoblood if she could take the challenge. Long story short: while Gospor is the definition of unassuming she didn't survive in troll business this long without knowing how to take down an opponent bigger than she is.

And there you have the basics of the slave quadrants.


	10. Moving to AO3

Okay, I won't be posting any more chapters of Dark Season to FFN. The questionable rules about what characters are allowed don't exactly mesh well with troll quirks; it's already eaten Nepeta's angle brackets and later on I have an OC troll who uses the swirly 'at' A, Canren precedes his comments with tildes for waves, when Equius is talking it won't like his arrows, and the list goes on. So since FFN is ridiculous this fic isn't happening here anymore.

It will be happening at Archive of Our Own, or AO3, which is infinitely less irritating than FFN. The site is simply archiveofourown (dot) org

My username is YamiTami and you can find my page at archiveofourown (dot) org (slash) users (slash) YamiTami

Sorry for the inconvenience but since FFN is hell bent on alienating us I'm going to be moving all my stuff over there. Won't be deleting this account or anything but I don't think I'll be doing any more updating on this site.


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